I cannot begin to imagine the moments I would have missed. I am so glad I didn't listen!
~ After the response on my Instagram stories the other day, I decided that this deserves a permanent spot on the feed. ~
Disclaimer: When I share my opinion on motherhood; it's not about judging others. It's about understanding & learning that there is more than one option to do things. You do what works for you!
• Sleep training does NOT teach your baby how to sleep.
>> They still wake as often as they would. The only difference is that they learned that no one is coming to them if they signal (call/cry). Thus it won't help to signal.
• Leaving your baby to "cry it out" does NOT teach your baby to self soothe.
>> Babies do not have the psycological ability to soothe themselves. Once again, all they learn is that no one is coming to assist them.
• Nursing your baby to sleep goes against "all of the books"
>> Nursing comforts your baby - the way Abba intended it to work. People argue that nursing to sleep is a bad habit, but putting a pacifier in their mouths is no problem. Both provide comfort. The difference is - you are the comforter. It takes something from you. Your time & your commitment. When you give the child a pacifier, you are free to go.
They are little for such a short while.
They won't always need you the way they do now!
There is nothing wrong with your baby for wanting & needing you!
Maybe there is something wrong with society's view that babies have to self soothe and moms who value their own priorities over their babies' priorities. When you become a mom, your baby should be your number one priority!
The baby did not ask to be born. But you are well aware how babies are made. The choice was yours, regardless if it was planned or not!
Society's attempt to brainwash the world is working perfectly! The hustle of the world says that moms need to rush back to the life and body they had before having children.
If your life looks the same as it did before you had kids, after you had kids - you are doing something wrong!
Raising children is one of the most (if not THE most) important things you will ever do in your life. The world want to make you believe that it doesn't carry value and that you need to do more & be more.
But I am telling you today that being a mother is doing more than enough!
Disclaimer Number 2: I am not on a high since becoming a mother. I have always had this view on motherhood. The reasonwhy I haven't shared this before becoming a mom myself is because I knew there would be trolls coming at me that say it's easy for me to say as I am not a mom. So I waited... and now the trolls can't come at me haha.
It's time we quit listenig to the world's fear based messages that tells is that nursing your baby to sleep is creating a "sleep crutch." Or that soothing a crying baby is creating a needy baby. Or that if you co-sleep now, you'll never get them out of your bed.
You will always have time to incorporate changes and shifts if YOU feel the NEED for it. Not because you feel pressured.
Most babies will sleep independently at some stage without any guidance / training from anyone - WHEN THEY ARE READY TO!
Our little one slept through for the first time at roughly 7/8 weeks old.
Please note: This does NOT happen every night. She usually feeds once / twice per night. Sometimes she even feeds 5 times per night. And although I am pooped the next day, I wouldn't have it any other way.
When I shared about her sleeping through a couple of nights - the amount of moms who contacted me and asked "what did we do to get her to sleep through" - not only shocked me but it also broke my heart.
Whenever someone has a baby, the world jumps to the question "is he/she sleeping through?" Social media is rotten with sleep training specialists... It's no wonder moms freak out and question if they are doing something wrong when their babies are not sleeping through.
I am here to remind you again that it is completely normal if your baby does NOT sleep through!
Studies show that kids' sleep at the age of approximatley 5, starts to look similar to adult sleep. How then can we possibly expect our babies to consistently sleep through the night?
There is nothing wrong with getting help or asking for advice when you feel like something is off. That's not the message I'm sending out.
But there's a whole lot wrong with feeling pressured by a skewed society.
Don't try to fix something that isn't broken.
Trust your instincts mama!
God created you for this & gave YOU YOUR baby for a reason!
There's a spiritual side connected to all of this as well... which is way too complex to dive into now.
But often during the baby days the root of rejection already sets in!
The self soothe / sleep training / limited comfort theory all teach little ones that "nobody is coming for me"... Which is rejection.
And then we wonder why we have a society filled with people who struggle with affection, who always have the need to feel validated, included & heard. We wonder why people struggle to find their identity & their purpose in life. We wonder why kids are insecure, struggle to make friends & cry their eyes out on the first day of school.
Yet in the most crucial formation years, where babies & kids had to learn SECURITY, DEPENDENCE & ATTACHMENT... The world fed them insecurity, fake independence & fake detachment.
When they needed you, you didn't come for them.
Just a little food for thought to chew on the next time you feel pressured to do sleep training or let your baby cry it out.
Once again: you are completely free to disagree with me. I am putting this out there for the moms & future moms who find the norms of society odd when their motherly instincts tells them something different. Don't question your instincts!